Why is it illegal to hit kids, again?

"Your boy, BJR" (jerseyshoreben) 08/10/2015 at 18:42 • Filed to: None

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39

These little toddler bastards were just wiping their hands all over my car and climbing on it. I told their mom to please control them. Now they’re calling me mr poopy pants through the window of the restaurant. If one of them snaps my hood ornament off, so help me god I'll punt a child. Have some cars for your time.

Xyl0c41n3 > Your boy, BJR 08/10/2015 at 18:47

4

Heh. Your Jersey manners are exactly why you’re one of my favorite people. :D

But seriously... wtf, kids? I was eating lunch with some coworkers once when this kid kept coming up to my colleague and hitting her. Like, actually striking her. Repeatedly. His mom looked over at us, then very pointedly turned her head away and ignored what her kid was doing. Like... lady... that’s simple assault! If your kid wasn’t under the age of 10, you’d be in some deep shit.

My citroen won't start > Your boy, BJR 08/10/2015 at 18:47

0

I’m ok with child punting.

Twingo Tamer - About to descend into project car hell. > Your boy, BJR 08/10/2015 at 18:49

5

It sounds like the parent is the one that needs to be hit. Raise them properly and they wont be little cunts.

JustWaitingForAMate > Xyl0c41n3 08/10/2015 at 18:51

8

The backhand that child would receive from me would launch him into orbit.

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > Your boy, BJR 08/10/2015 at 18:52

2

Remember the show Bully Beatdown? There needs to be a Parent Beatdown for parents that can’t control their spawn.

Svend > Your boy, BJR 08/10/2015 at 18:53

2

My dad used to say ‘if you want to phone Child Line for smacking you then I better make it worth it, I’ll even dial the number for you’.

El Rivinado > Your boy, BJR 08/10/2015 at 18:53

3

I would too Ben. Growing up, I was raised with something called manners, you know respecting other people’s property, keeping your grubby little hands off of stuff that didn’t belong to you. Nowadays though, you’re just supposed to bend over and take it because some parents believe that you’re “being disrespectful” or “Stifling their creativity” or whatever new age parenting bullshit that spews out of these people’s like mouths like sewage from the Jersey Turnpike.

I'd be pissed if they did it to my Eldorado as well, god help the owner who has this happen with a car that's even older and nicer.

crowmolly > Your boy, BJR 08/10/2015 at 18:54

0

According to Jersey state law, it is now in your right to teach her unattended kids how much fun it is to say the F word.

shop-teacher > Your boy, BJR 08/10/2015 at 18:55

2

Fart on them.

Your boy, BJR > El Rivinado 08/10/2015 at 18:56

3

You never fuck with a man’s Cadillac. We’ll see who’s the Mr. Poopy Pants once little Hanson has a Doc Martin half the size of his body rammed into his taint at terminal velocity.....

Mr. Ontop, No Strokes, No Smokes...Goes Fast. > Xyl0c41n3 08/10/2015 at 18:56

3

When they do that, tell the the truth about Santa, the easter bunny and the tooth fairy. Let them know what lars their parents really are.

El Rivinado > Your boy, BJR 08/10/2015 at 18:57

1

“You never fuck with another man’s Cadillac”

The one lesson I took away from Zombieland more than any other.

OPPOsaurus WRX > Xyl0c41n3 08/10/2015 at 18:58

1

She should have acted startled and dumped a beer on the kids head

Your boy, BJR > Mr. Ontop, No Strokes, No Smokes...Goes Fast. 08/10/2015 at 19:04

1

Lars?

Alex B > Xyl0c41n3 08/10/2015 at 19:08

1

I would have stared down the mom, honestly that’s unacceptable.

ly2v8-Brian > Your boy, BJR 08/10/2015 at 19:19

2

Mr. Ontop, No Strokes, No Smokes...Goes Fast. > Your boy, BJR 08/10/2015 at 19:20

2

You can tell them the truth about Lars too, I guess.

pjhusa > Your boy, BJR 08/10/2015 at 19:22

2

That’s barbaric.

It’s not a matter of allowing kids to be hit; it’s a matter of crap parents/parenting.

pjhusa > Twingo Tamer - About to descend into project car hell. 08/10/2015 at 19:24

0

THANK YOU. THAT IS MY WHOLE POINT HERE.

G_Body_Man: Sponsored by the number 3 > Your boy, BJR 08/10/2015 at 19:27

8

Just remember,

Van Man, rocks the Man Van > Your boy, BJR 08/10/2015 at 19:31

0

Random question: where in Jersey are you from?

Xyl0c41n3 > Alex B 08/10/2015 at 19:32

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Oh, I gave her my best glare. She eventually asked the kid to come sit down at their table. Once.

pjhusa > Xyl0c41n3 08/10/2015 at 19:37

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The kid has an idiot for a mother.

Your boy, BJR > Van Man, rocks the Man Van 08/10/2015 at 19:37

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Belmar!

Your boy, BJR > pjhusa 08/10/2015 at 19:42

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Barbaric?

desertdog5051 > El Rivinado 08/10/2015 at 19:46

1

You are so right.

pjhusa > Your boy, BJR 08/10/2015 at 19:54

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Okay.

JR1 > Your boy, BJR 08/10/2015 at 20:09

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I'll hold them down for you

LongbowMkII > Your boy, BJR 08/10/2015 at 20:22

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the closest I’ve gotten to going angry old man is when I saw a kid of 10-12 touch the tail pipes of a Bugatti Atlantique. Rage.

PushToStart > Your boy, BJR 08/10/2015 at 20:34

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I’m not sure why, but it seems like no one is taught proper how-to-behave-around-other’s-cars etiquette anymore. Likely because their parents weren't either. Was at a car show once and saw some kid putting his hands on an E-Type Jag, and mom couldn't be bothered for a second to tell her kid to stop. That irritated me a little...

marshknute > Mr. Ontop, No Strokes, No Smokes...Goes Fast. 08/10/2015 at 20:41

1

That’s...actually a really good way to react! You don’t even come close to breaking any laws, you freak the kid out, and force the terrible parent to grit their teeth and have a really tough conversation with their kid.

Such an asshole move and I love it!

speedygopher > Your boy, BJR 08/10/2015 at 20:43

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I took my kids to a local car show years ago when they were small. Like toddler small. Bunch of older guys with their hot rods and Corvettes. More than one of them was surprised when my kids would run up to look, and stop to wait for me to pick them up to see inside, rather than climbing all over it like a lot of other kids. It made me feel like a good parent to be thanked for my kids’ good behavior. Made me want to trip the other little bastards as they ran around unchecked.

Funktheduck > Mr. Ontop, No Strokes, No Smokes...Goes Fast. 08/10/2015 at 22:35

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You're my new hero

Funktheduck > Xyl0c41n3 08/10/2015 at 22:38

1

“Hey kid, ever wonder what your insides look like on the outside?”

Xyl0c41n3 > Funktheduck 08/11/2015 at 00:45

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“Your entrails will become your extrails!”

Mr. Ontop, No Strokes, No Smokes...Goes Fast. > marshknute 08/11/2015 at 01:55

0

I’m a professional asshole, don’t try this at home, kids!

Funktheduck > Xyl0c41n3 08/11/2015 at 07:56

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Or carry around a big Dino claw and quote the beginning of Jurassic park

bob and john > Your boy, BJR 08/11/2015 at 23:33

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I dont agree with you on many many MANY things.


This one? I agree.

Stef Schrader > Your boy, BJR 08/13/2015 at 18:15

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Call the cops on the mom, then. If she doesn’t want to control her kids, welp.